\ Raincoats and Recipes /
transcript par Patti Jo avec assistance par Canopus
OPEN AT LORELAI'S HOUSE - VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING
[Lorelai shuffles sleepily into kitchen where Rory is busily working]
RORY: Oh, hi! Great! I'm still on my finals sleepschedule, and, man, am I wired. What time is it? Like, 3:00 in the morning? Icannot tell anymore. Want some mac and cheese? I love mac and cheese when Ican't sleep. [She checks the refrigerator while Lorelai rubs her eyes.] Cool.Individual cheese slices. So, I've been making out my rsum so I can try toget a summer job, because there is no way that I am going to swipe cafeteriacards again next year. [Buzzer sounds in background.] My whites are done. [Rorymoves to the laundry room while Lorelai rests head on the kitchen table.] Do youknow that the best time to do your laundry at Yale is in the middle of thenight? You have your pick of washers, the place has just been swept, and thetrash is completely empty. So, what do you think? [Rory brings another clothesbasket to laundry room] The Stars Hollow Gazette needs a facts checker, butRob's Tire is offering way more money. I know that now is the time to suffer formy art, but I was so broke by the end of the year that I had to dip into Paris'green tea stash, which backfired on so many levels, I can't even tell you.[Lorelai shuts laundry door and blocks it with a chair.] Hey!
LORELAI: Great to have you home, hon. [She shuffles offto bed as Rory rattles the doorknob.]
CUT TO THE DRAGONFLY INN LOBBY
MICHEL: Okay, I think I've got all the rooms assignedfor the test run.
LORELAI: Hit me.
MICHEL: Miss Patty is in room one, Babette is in two. Iput Taylor in three, the corner room. The Siegels will go in five, you and Roryare in six -
LORELAI: W-wait, what happened to four?
MICHEL: Four is taken.
LORELAI: By whom?
MICHEL: By friends of mine. Sookie and Jackson are in -
LORELAI: Which friends of yours?
MICHEL: You said I could invite friends of mine, did younot?
LORELAI: I did.
MICHEL: Okay, so I did that. I invited two of myfriends, and I put them in room four, and now room four is taken with my friendsas you suggested, okay?
LORELAI: Paw-paw and Chin Chin cannot come to the testrun.
MICHEL: Why not?
LORELAI: Because they are dogs, Michel.
MICHEL: They cannot stay home by themselves. They getlonely and they eat expensive Italian things.
LORELAI: Then get yourself a Chow sitter, because roomfour is for human beings only.
TOM: Terrific, they're on their way up. [Lorelaiapproaches with Michel following]
LORELAI: Oh, hey, Tom, I'm putting Post-its where weneed paint touch-ups.
TOM: Got it.
LORELAI: And, you know, we got that test run Saturday. Iwas really hoping to have some doors by then.
TOM: I told you, the doors are coming.
LORELAI: You told me that two weeks ago.
TOM: And I'm sure I meant it.
LORELAI: Tom!
TOM: I'm calling right now.
MICHEL: I don't understand why you get to bring Rory,and I don't get to bring my Chows.
LORELAI: Because I'm mad with power.
MICHEL: They are cleaner than she is. They are quieterthan she is.
LORELAI: Stop comparing your dogs to my kid.
MICHEL: As much as you love Rory, that is how much Ilove Paw-paw and Chin Chin.
LORELAI: I gave birth to her! I carried her inside me,and nine months and twenty-six hours later, she came out!
MICHEL: If I could have given birth to them myself, Iwould have, but I didn't have that choice! [They both approach Kirk loading woodinto the fireplace.]
LORELAI: I think that's enough wood there, Kirk.
KIRK: I put wood in all the guest rooms and the livingroom, so all I have to do is store the rest of the cord you bought.
LORELAI: Okay, Michel will take you outside and show youwhere it goes.
KIRK: Outside? Do you really want to expose your wood tothe elements?
LORELAI: We'll get a tarp. Michel?
MICHEL: Any dogs, Kirk?
KIRK: Dogs urinate on wood. I hate dogs.
[They both leave. Lorelai turns to Lulu, who is seatednearby.]
LORELAI: Going with Kirk on his rounds again, Lulu?
LULU: Uh-huh. I just love it when he looks like theBrawny paper towel guy.
LORELAI: It is a good outfit.
LULU: The place looks absolutely wonderful, Lorelai.When does it open?
LORELAI: Two weeks, but we're having a test run onSaturday -- just a bunch of friends who will hopefully still be our friends onMonday.
LULU: Sounds wonderful.
LORELAI: Hey, You and Kirk should come.
LULU: Really?
LORELAI: Sure. I'll give you Paw-paw and Chin Chin'sroom. We'd love to have you.
LULU: Wow, we would love to come. And I know Kirk wouldfeel better being able to check up on the wood.
LORELAI: Kirk's lucky to have found you, Lulu. [Lulugiggles.]
CUT TO DRAGONFLY KITCHEN
[Sookie bustles around the busy kitchen inspecting the workers.]
SOOKIE: Oh, pretty garnish! That's some good mincingthere. Just enough walnut. Is that fish done? It should be done. Perfect.
LORELAI: Ooh, man, it smells great in here.
SOOKIE: This is the best kitchen staff I've ever had,ever! I don't know how we got them, but they're amazing! I got to show you thismincing. Seriously
LORELAI: No, no, no, no. I believe you. They seemterrific. But, um, Sookie, so there are seven workers in here, and we're onlybudgeted for five.
SOOKIE: I know.
LORELAI: [ Chuckles ] That's a problem.
SOOKIE: Yes. See, I hired seven, figuring that at leasttwo would crap out, and then we'd have five.
LORELAI: And?
SOOKIE: And none did.
LORELAI: So what do we do?
SOOKIE: I don't know.
LORELAI: Well, maybe the test run will break a couple ofthem, but if no one quits, honey, you got to fire two of them.
[Michel enters kitchen]
MICHEL: [Sighs] There are all sorts of chromosomesmissing from that man.
LORELAI: Put Kirk and Lulu in room four.
MICHEL: You cut me.
LORELAI: Okay, so is that it for the rooms?
MICHEL: Basically, yes. You and Rory in six, Luke inseven.
LORELAI: Luke?
MICHEL: Yes, Luke
LORELAI: Oh! So is he coming? Luke's coming?
MICHEL: Is he not supposed to?
LORELAI: No, no, of course he was. I mean, he wasinvited quite a while ago...before anything happened. [Michel staresdumbfounded] I mean, I didn't know he was coming, that's all. Okay, so good.Luke's in room seven. Lucky number seven. Not that it's lucky for Luke, 'cause Idon't know what's lucky for Luke, okay?
SOOKIE: Look at how he chopped these onions. I just wantto shove a string through them and wear them around my neck!
MICHEL: That wouldn't be at all eccentric.
LORELAI: Oh! Oh, honey, come here. [Lorelai embracesSookie.]
SOOKIE: What? [Lorelai chuckles.] What is that for?
LORELAI: In all the craziness, I completely forgot thattoday is your wedding anniversary.
SOOKIE: Oh, my god! [dashes off]
CUT TO RORY'S BEDROOM
[Rory wakes from sleep with a Post-It stuck to herforehead. "Lunch at Luke's" is written on it. She sits up to find herbed filled with clean, folded laundry covering it.]
CUT TO LANE'S APARTMENT
[Lane and Rory are playing video games]
RORY: Where'd he go?
LANE: I don't know.
RORY: What do I do?
LANE: I don't know!
RORY: Did I lose?
LANE: Well, you have no head, so probably.
RORY: So this is what teenage boys are doing instead ofwatching television?
LANE: Apparently.
RORY: Seems like a lateral move.
LANE: Hey, you hungry?
RORY: I'm starving.
LANE: Well, your timing is perfect, 'cause I went to thestore yesterday.
[Lane starts pulling up floorboards.]
RORY: Are you kidding me? You just got away from thefloorboard life.
LANE: Boys will eat everything. I bought vanilla-almondbody lotion the other day.
RORY: No.
LANE: On chips -- mine, by the way.
RORY: So, Jess came by to see me.
LANE: You've been here 20 minutes, and you drop thisnow?
RORY: He just showed up at my dorm on Saturday night.
LANE: Why? What did he say?
RORY: Well -
LANE: Wait! [pulls out chip and poises to listen] [Sighs ] Go.
RORY: I got home from this awful setup.
LANE: The guy your grandmother brought by?
RORY: That's the one.
LANE: He was that bad?
RORY: James Spader in "Pretty in Pink."
LANE: You could have just stopped at "JamesSpader."
RORY: Anyway, I left the pub, got back to my dorm, andJess was there.
LANE: What did he want?
RORY: He wanted me to come away with him.
LANE: Oh, my God! What did you say?
RORY: I said -- I don't know. It was so weird. He wasjust... Jess. I mean, he shows up out of no where with this crazy proposal. Itwas awful.
LANE: It doesn't sound awful.
RORY: What are you talking about? Jess bailed on metwice.
LANE: I know, but how incredibly romantic to have thisguy show up out of the blue and want to take you away with him.
RORY: When I first met Jess, I thought, "What couldbe better than this? He's smart, good taste in books and music, so cute."But Jess is great one minute and then the next - you know, as far as I know, Icould have said yes, packed my bag, and by the time I got to the car, he wouldhave changed his mind.
LANE: It's part of why he's cute. He's unpredictable.
RORY: I guess. You know, when I was with Dean, I alwaysknew that no matter what happened, he would be there.
LANE: Dean was very dependable.
RORY: It was more than that. He's -- well, he was so...um, I was safe, and he was so nice to me.
LANE: He really loved you.
RORY: I think I really blew it there, you know? I didn'tappreciate it.
LANE: Every girl has to fall for a bad boy. It's therule. It's the reason so many accountants eventually get married.
CUT STARS HOLLOW STREET
TROUBADOUR: [singing] Hey, she's a piratey soul, full ofvinegar and glitter, she is a song of her own, from down the wrong end of theriver, wild like the lily-a-passion, have you ever had the honors - oh, no, no,no, no, no way
RORY: Hi.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Lorelai is sitting at table watching Luke intently. Rory enters.]
RORY: I can't believe you didn't wake me up.
LORELAI: Me and what army?
RORY: I only have so much time off. I don't want towaste it all sleeping till noon.
LORELAI: There was no waking you up. You were completelyout of it. We're talking Farrah on "Letterman." Hey.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Luke is coming over here. I want you to payvery close attention.
RORY: To what?
LORELAI: Shh.
LUKE: Coffee?
LORELAI: Oh, sure, coffee would be great. Coffee, hon?Yeah, she'll have coffee.
LUKE: Okay. You want a minute?
LORELAI: Yes, a minute would be great.
LUKE: Okay.
LORELAI: Well?
RORY: What?
LORELAI: You notice anything?
RORY: Anything?
LORELAI: Anything weird, anything different?
RORY: About Luke?
LORELAI: Of course about Luke. Did you notice anythingdifferent?
RORY: Like what?
LORELAI: Like a vibe, an attitude. Did he look at medifferently?
RORY: Differently than what?
LORELAI: Differently than he did.
RORY: Differently than he did when?
LORELAI: Before.
RORY: Before what?
LORELAI: Before before. Rory!
RORY: How on earth can you be frustrated with me rightnow?
LORELAI: Fine. Come here.
[Lorelai hurriedly pushes Rory out the diner door.]
RORY: What's your damage, Heather?
LORELAI: I think I'm dating Luke.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: I'm not sure. It's just a possibility. I couldbe wrong.
RORY: But how? When?
LORELAI: I went with him to his sister's wedding, and itwas really nice. We had a really good time. We laughed a lot, and we ate, andthen we danced.
RORY: Danced? How?
LORELAI: We pop-locked.
RORY: Was it a fast dance, slow dance, group dance?
LORELAI: It was a slow dance. What is "groupdance?"
RORY: The hustle, the hora.
LORELAI: No hustle, no hora. It was a slow dance -- awaltz. Luke can waltz.
RORY: Luke can waltz?!
LORELAI: Luke can waltz.
RORY: Look how you just said, "Luke canwaltz."
LORELAI: What, I'm just saying, I'm surprised that Lukecan waltz.
RORY: That sounded more like, "I'm surprised Istill have my clothes on."
LORELAI: Oh, stop.
RORY: What else happened?
LORELAI: Nothing. We spent the evening together. Wedanced, he walked me home, then he asked me to a movie. All of these thingsindividually do not add up to dating, but together, I don't know. And there wasthis moment, when he walked me home, where I thought -- I don't know.
RORY: Did you say yes?
LORELAI: When?
RORY: To the movie. Did you say yes?
LORELAI: Yes.
RORY: That sounds like dating to me.
LORELAI: But maybe he didn't mean it as a date thing.Maybe he just needed to get out of the house, and since I'm currently one of thewomen sitting home, thinking, "If I could only find a man likeAragorn," he picked me.
RORY: Okay, whoa, this is Luke.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: Our Luke -- the town Luke. We see him every day.He's a part of our lives.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: I mean, everyone will know. They'll know if you'retogether, they'll know if you're not together.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: You can't just date Luke. When you're with Luke,you are with Luke. And if it doesn't work out, it will be really bad forboth of us. I mean, how do you feel about this? Do you want to be dating Luke?
LORELAI: Okay, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Idon't even know if this is what he's thinking. This could be a totally innocentsituation, and then we've done all this what-iffing for nothing. Let's just goback in there and see if anything's weird, okay?
RORY: Okay.
LORELAI: Okay. [they re-enter diner]
LUKE: Is everything okay?
LORELAI: Yes. [nonchalantly leans against their tableand tumbles entire contents making lots of noise]
LUKE: [unphased] I'll get the broom.
RORY: That was a little weird.
[Rory gazes out diner window and sees Dean across streetwalking on sidewalk. Their eyes meet. Rory smiles and waves. Dean frowns,changes direction and walks off. Rory's smile fades]
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE DINING ROOM TABLE
LORELAI: Two radish roses for a carrot curl?
RORY: Deal.
EMILY: You're trading garnish?
LORELAI: Yes, but only 'cause the dinner's gross.
EMILY: Very nice.
LORELAI: I don't like rabbit.
EMILY: How convenient. You're not eating rabbit.
LORELAI: But this is rabbit sauce.
RICHARD: It is rabbit sauce.
EMILY: It is not rabbit sauce. Do not tell her that it'srabbit sauce.
RICHARD: It tastes like rabbit sauce to me.
EMILY: That just goes to show how much attention yougive to meals that are prepared for you.
LORELAI: If it isn't rabbit, then what is it?
EMILY: It's duck.
LORELAI: Oh, well, where's that carrot curl?
RORY: I haven't seen a radish rose.
EMILY: Never mind. Don't eat it. Sriva, come get theplates. We're done.
RICHARD: Not everyone is done.
EMILY: Just bring out the dessert, please. So, Rory, Iwas thinking maybe we should go away this summer, just you and me. You should doEurope right at least once in your life, and this seems like the perfect time.
RORY: Oh, well, Grandma, I don't really know what I'mdoing this summer yet, but that sounds really nice.
LORELAI: And really out of the blue.
RICHARD: I agree.
LORELAI: Were you going mention this to me?
EMILY: I just did.
LORELAI: No, before you opened the peanuts.
EMILY: Plans aren't made, Lorelai. It was just an idea.If Rory doesn't want to go, then Rory doesn't have to go.
RORY: Rory didn't say she didn't want to go.
LORELAI: That's right, Rory's mother was just marvelingat the "hey, look over here" approach to the invitation. [She noticesRichard frowning and looking impatient.] You okay, dad?
RICHARD: I'm fine. When is dessert? I have work to do.
EMILY: It's coming as quickly as the woman can spoonfruit over ice cream.
RICHARD: Well, clearly, she has carpal tunnel or someother modern disease which is slowing her down.
EMILY: If she's going too slow for you, why don't youjust go into the kitchen and give her a hand?
LORELAI: I forgot to mention, we're doing a test run atthe inn this weekend.
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: Yeah, We're inviting all our friends to spendthe weekend, just to make sure we're ready to open.
RICHARD: Well, that sounds sensible.
LORELAI: Hey, you know what would be great? If the twoof you came.
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: For the weekend.
EMILY: Oh.
RICHARD: Well...
LORELAI: I mean, I've been working toward this goal for,my God, what is it, Rory, now, twenty years?
RORY: Twenty years.
LORELAI: Twenty years, wow. So basically, this is thebiggest thing that's ever happened to me in my life, except for Rory being born,and I'm sure my parents wouldn't want to miss it. I mean, unless there's somespecific reason why you guys can't come, both of you together. No? Okay, good,so you'll be there. Fantastic. Isn't that great, Rory? Grandma and Grandpa arecoming to the test run together.
RICHARD: Lorelai -
LORELAI: Dad, seriously, you have no idea how much thismeans to me.
EMILY: We wouldn't miss it for the world.
CUT TO EXTERIOR OF ELDER GILMORE FRONT ENTRANCE
[Lorelai and Rory exit and move towards their vehicle.]
RORY: So, inviting them to stay in the inn is going todo what?
LORELAI: I'm not inviting them to stay in the inn. I'minviting them to stay in the bungalow 150 feet away from the inn.
RORY: Diabolical.
LORELAI: I'm going to lock those two in a room, and theyare either coming out reconciled or in a body bag. Believe you me, I'm fineeither way.
RORY: Well, look who died and made you Hayley Mills.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Kirk rushes in, passes Luke to the back of diner.]
LUKE: Hey Kirk, just sit -
KIRK: We need to talk.
LUKE: Where are you going? Hey! [follows Kirk to backand into Luke's apartment] Get out of my apartment.
KIRK: This place is small. I always pictured you in abigger place.
LUKE: Do me a favor and don't picture me in any place,okay, Kirk?
KIRK: You have nice windows, though. I don't havewindows. My room at my mom's house used to be a bomb shelter. It's very cold butgreat for racquetball.
LUKE: Kirk, what do you want?
KIRK: I need to talk to you. You're the only one I canconfide in.
LUKE: Oh, goody.
KIRK: Lorelai invited Lulu and me to the test run of theinn.
LUKE: Uh-huh.
KIRK: Lulu is very excited about the invitation. It'sall she talks about -- a romantic weekend at the inn with me. [absently shufflesthrough Luke's mail - Luke slaps them from his hands and sets the letters aside]Anyhow, I'm a little concerned about this invitation, because Lulu and I havenever spent the night together.
LUKE: Oh well, this is not a comfortable area for me.
KIRK: I mean, we've had sex -- lots and lots of sex.
LUKE: And this is even more uncomfortable.
KIRK: We just haven't actually spent the night together.
LUKE: Why not?
KIRK: I have night terrors.
LUKE: Night terrors?
KIRK: Basically, I freak out at beddy-bye. About an hourafter I fall asleep, I wake up in panic. Everything around me seems threatening,scary, out to get me. Two nights ago, I was suddenly gripped with theoverwhelming feeling that there was an assassin in my house.
LUKE: Jeez.
KIRK: I had to get out of the room before he got me, soI jumped out of bed and locked my pillow in the bathroom.
LUKE: Why?
KIRK: Because it was a bomb.
LUKE: Of course.
KIRK: After neutralizing my pillow, I ran up the stairs,climbed out the bathroom window, scaled the trellis up the side of the house,and hid on the roof
LUKE: Huh.
KIRK: Completely naked.
LUKE: Aw, jeez!!
KIRK: The worst part of night terrors is it always endsup with me on top of the roof completely naked or running down the streetcompletely naked or swimming in the community-center pool completely naked. Thatwas the time I thought I was on fire.
LUKE: Kirk, that's terrible.
KIRK: Well, I'm used to it now, so it's kind of secondnature to me, but Lulu -
LUKE: Right, Lulu.
KIRK: How is she going to take it? I mean, I could scareher or ninja-kick her and lock her up with a pillow. I think I love her, Luke,and I haven't even told her that I love her. I spelled it out inchocolate-covered Oreos once, but she was really hungry, and I'm not sure if sheread it first. I can't assault her before I tell her I love her.
LUKE: What do you want me to do about it?
KIRK: I called the Dragonfly and had them put me andLulu in the room right next to yours. That way, if you hear anything --screaming or Russian -- you can come in and pull me off of Lulu.
LUKE: Oh.
KIRK: Unless, when you come in, it looks like youshouldn't pull me off of Lulu.
LUKE: Kirk.
KIRK: You can use your judgment on that one.
LUKE: Kirk, I-I don't know about this.
KIRK: Please! This weekend means so much to her. I can'ttell her we're not going.
LUKE: [ long suffering sigh ] Fine.
KIRK: Thank you, Luke, thank you. Remember, anythingweird, just jump on in.
LUKE: I got it, Kirk. [walks Kirk to door]
KIRK: Just don't touch my bottom, or I'll think you havea machete.
LUKE: If you want this to happen, do not use the word"bottom" with me again, Kirk.
KIRK: Right. See you later. Hey, Luke?
LUKE: What, Kirk?
KIRK: What kind of clothes are you bringing?
CUT TO DRAGONFLY INN FRONT DESK
SOOKIE: My kitchen staff's great -- all seven of them!
RORY: Hang in there, Sookie.
SOOKIE: If only one would suck, maybe it would rub offon the rest.
RORY: Plenty of sucking potential still out there, havesome faith.
LORELAI: [talking on walkie-talkie] Tom, where are mydoors? They were supposed to be here by now.
TOM: [voice on walkie-talkie] Yeah, I know. They took awrong turn and headed to Woodbridge.
LORELAI: What?
TOM: Relax, I'm trying to track them down.
LORELAI: Um, Tom, guests are showing up here any second.They have no doors. People will have to get very friendly very quickly.
TOM: I got the guy on the phone. I'll get right back toyou.
LORELAI: Tom? Tom? [Chuckles to Rory] Hey, I've changedmy mind. I want to be a ballerina.
RORY: Good timing.
SOOKIE: Okay. So, we don't have doors, and every singleperson I hired is fantastic. We're doomed.
MICHEL: [voice on walkie-talkie] The guests arearriving. I repeat, the guests are arriving.
LORELAI: No, Michel, we still don't have doors. Is thereanything you can do to stall them?
MICHEL: No. I'm bringing them up now.
SOOKIE: Boy, if he was on my kitchen staff, we'd be homefree by now.
TOM: [voice on walkie-talkie] I got 'em.
LORELAI: Doors? You got the doors?
TOM: They're on their way up. My guys will be standingby to get them on.
LORELAI: Tom, I'm loving you like a two dollar whore.
TOM: Terrific. I'll tell the wife.
LORELAI: Okay. Everybody, the doors are on the way,guests are coming. Everybody outside to greet them. It's showtime. Let's go!Okay, everyone, remember, these people are not our friends. They are customers.Just relax, don't rush, and don't kill anybody.
SOOKIE: Here they come! [three open trolleys arrive withguests]
MISS PATTY: Oh, look at that!
[Indistinct conversations]
LORELAI: Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn.
MISS PATTY: Oh, will you look at this place!
BABETTE: It's a paradise. Oh, Lorelai, the babies thatare going to be conceived on this property!
MISS PATTY: Oh, are those horses! Babette, look at thehorses.
LORELAI: That's Cletus and Desdemona, and if anyonewould like to go for a ride, Michel can set it up for you. [Taylor approaches]
TAYLOR: The ride up here was very dusty, Lorelai. Youshould warn people not to wear their white pants upon arrival.
LORELAI: I will do that, Taylor.
TAYLOR: So, do I bring my own bags in or?
LORELAI: No, you don't. Eric, Jeremy, Sam, these bags,please.
TAYLOR: The blue one has breakables.
[Tom walks up]
TOM: Okay, they're unloading them in the back. I alreadysent Dean in to start putting them up.
LORELAI: Great. Thank you, Tom.
RORY: I'll be right back.
LORELAI: [calls to Rory as she runs off] Make sure thekeys are ready. [as Kirk and Lulu approach] Well, hey there, you two! Good tosee you!
LULU: I am so excited to be here. Thank you so much forthe invitation.
LORELAI: You're welcome. Have a good time.
LULU: Oh, horses. [wanders off to look closer]
KIRK: Is Luke here yet?
LORELAI: No, he's not, Kirk.
KIRK: But he's coming, right? He'll be here before I goto sleep?
LORELAI: I have no idea, Kirk. Why?
KIRK: It's a guy thing.
CUT TO INTERIOR OF DRAGONFLY ENTRYWAY
[Rory starts to climb stairs and sees Dean in the side hall carrying a door.]
RORY: Hi.
DEAN: [Breathing heavily - sets down door] Hey. [shiftsuncomfortably] I have to get this upstairs.
RORY: Can't we talk?
DEAN: What about?
RORY: He didn't stay.
DEAN: Yeah. I don't care.
RORY: I told him to go. He went. He's gone.
DEAN: Well, great.
RORY: Why are you so mad?
DEAN: I'm not mad. I'm working.
RORY: I left you three messages. You didn't answer anyof them. You blew me off at Luke's today. You won't look me in the eye.
DEAN: [ Sighs ] I have to go.
RORY: I told him to leave.
DEAN: You told me to leave, also.
RORY: I told you to leave so I could tell him to leave.
DEAN: That makes sense.
RORY: It does make sense, Dean. I didn't ask him tocome. I did ask you to come, remember?
DEAN: I know. I just -
RORY: What -- why are you so mad?
DEAN: I thought you were back with him or something.
RORY: No, I'm not back with him.
DEAN: I thought you were.
RORY: Well, I'm not. But even if I was back with him,why would it bother you so much?
DEAN: I don't like him.
RORY: Okay.
DEAN: And I...I don't want you with him.
RORY: Right. Because he doesn't treat me right, right?
DEAN: Right. [leans in a little]
RORY: And you wouldn't want me to be with someone whodoesn't treat me right, because you're my friend, right?
DEAN: Right... I'm your friend. [leans closer to Rory]
TOM: Dean! How we doing with those doors? [They jumpapart.]
DEAN: W-we're doing fine, Tom. [resumes carrying door]
CUT TO LOBBY FRONT DESK
LORELAI: there you go, Freddy, you're in room nine. Justfollow your door.
[Freddy follows man carrying a door up stairs. MissPatty approaches.]
MISS PATTY: Oh, honey, this place is spectacular.
LORELAI: Thanks, Patty. You're in room one. I hope youlike it.
MISS PATTY: Oh, I just know everything's going to beperfect. There is nothing that you could do that I wouldn't love.
LORELAI: No, that is not the point here. This is a testrun. We need to work out all the kinks this weekend so they don't happen again,so we're depending on your feedback, and especially your criticism.
MISS PATTY: All right, I promise to be a pain.
LORELAI: I appreciate that. Just follow your door toyour room.
MISS PATTY: Oh. [Chuckles - eyes light up when she seesthe young man with her door] After you, sweetheart.
[Taylor approaches]
TAYLOR: Well, you can count on me for my feedback,Lorelai. I promise you that. In fact, I've already got fourteen complaintswritten down.
LORELAI: Oh!
TAYLOR: Most of them are small infractions, but it's thelittle things -- the details -- that distinguish the Barbra Streisands from theRoslyn Kinds.
LORELAI: Absolutely, Taylor.
TAYLOR: I even took it upon myself to bring my owncomment cards just in case you didn't think to supply them.
LORELAI: Well, we did supply comment cards, but I'm sureyours are even better.
TAYLOR: That was a very polite response. I'm writingthat down.
CUT TO INN ENTRY STAIRS
[Kirk descends stairs]
KIRK: Excuse me, I need some stuff taken out of my room.
MICHEL: What stuff?
KIRK: The lamp, the bronze bookends, the books, theshoehorns, the sewing kit. Are the paintings bolted to the walls?
MICHEL: Yes.
KIRK: Well, bring some pliers in case simple yankingdoesn't do it.
MICHEL: I am not yanking the pictures off the wall.
KIRK: Well, apparently, you've never been in love.
CUT TO INN FRONT DESK
LORELAI: There you go, room eight. [hands keys to twomen] Just follow your door. [Rory approaches] Hey, you know, this door thing isactually pretty fun.
RORY: Michel said to fill in for him. Kirk has himtaking the light bulbs out of all the sconces.
[Emily and Richard enter from front followed by muchluggage]
LOREALI: Oh, Mom, Dad! Look, Rory, there are yourgrandparents and everything they own.
EMILY: You didn't tell us what attire was required, so Ihad to pack everything.
RORY: Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandpa. We're so glad you couldcome.
RICHARD: We're delighted to be here. May we have ourkey? I'm tired from the drive.
LORELAI: It takes twenty minutes to get here.
RICHARD: It felt longer.
EMILY: Which way do we go, upstairs?
LORELAI: No, mom, you and dad aren't upstairs. You're inour nicest room. Guys, will you take my parents to room twelve? The boys willtake you there.
EMILY: Where are they going?
LORELAI: Just follow them, Mom.
EMILY: They're heading outside.
LORELAI: Yes. Your room has its own entrance forprivacy.
EMILY: Oh. Well, fine. We'll see you later, Rory.
RORY: Bye. [Emily and Richard leave] You are the badseed.
LORELAI: "I have the prettiest mother. Everybodythinks so." [strokes Rory's cheek while speaking in odd voice]
[Luke enters Inn with bouquet of flowers in hand -looking around. Lorelai smoothes hair, leaves Front desk and approaches Luke]
LORELAI: Hey, hi. You came.
LUKE: Sure. I RSVP'd.
LORELAI: Oh.
LUKE: Here, these are for you -- a littlecongratulations. [hands Lorelai the flowers]
LORELAI: Oh, my God, they're beautiful. Thank you.[flustered] I was - umwell, okay, so, we should get you all, uh, checked in.And that's...over there.
LUKE: [ Chuckles ] You okay?
LORELAI: Oh, God, yeah. Me? I'm totally fine. [turnstoward the front desk and hits face into a door as man walks by] Oh!
LUKE: Lorelai!
LORELAI: [hits head again] Oh, God. Um, [Chuckles] I'mfine. No problem. [squinting in pain] Um, that was your door, so you could justfollow that on upand we'll see you at dinner. Rory? [beckons Rory to bringkey]
LUKE: Are you sure you're okay?
LORELAI: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine It's likethe third time I did that today. It's a bit. . [Rory approaches and hands Lukehis key] We're going to be the comedy inn. We finally found our theme. So, yougot your key, and, uh, b-b-bye. [Luke exits up the stairs. Rory stares atLorelai strangely.] I've locked you in before, and I will do it again. [Gigglesand smells the flowers.]
CUT TO INN DINING ROOM - EVENING MEAL
[Indistinct conversations. Lorelai moves from table to table checking on guests]
LORELAI: [approaches Rory and Jackson's table] Hey, howit going?
RORY: It's going very well.
JACKSON: Very, very well.
LORELAI: [ Chuckles ] Oh, Jackson, I love the shirt.
JACKSON: Isn't it great? It's an anniversary gift fromSookie.
RORY: Sweet, huh?
LORELAI: These two kids.
JACKSON: I got to tell you, I was completely surprised.I figured, with the test run and everything, she'd be way too busy to remember.
LORELAI: Aw, What are you talking about, Sookie couldnever forget her mushroom man.
JACKSON: I'd love her to forget that nickname though.
RORY: The food's great, mom.
JACKSON: Yes, it is great.
RORY: Although I admit, I know the chef, so I'm a littlebiased.
JACKSON: You're a little biased. I'm sleeping with her.
RORY: You also grew the vegetables.
JACKSON: Oh, I did. I can't be trusted at all. [Tomwalks past]
LORELAI: Wow Tom, I have never seen you in a suitbefore!
TOM: Really? 'Cause I'm more a suit guy than anythingelse.
LORELAI: Hmm. [leans back toward Rory] I'm going to makethe rounds.
RORY: We'll be here. [Lorelai approaches table withBabette, Luke, and Miss Patty seated. Babette and Miss Patty are wearing fluffyhotel robes, Luke stares uncomfortably at his meal]
LORELAI: Hi, how is everything this evening?
BABETTE: Oh, my god, these robes!
MISS PATTY: What are they made of? 'Cause I am nevergetting dressed again.
LORELAI: [to Luke] How are you doing?
LUKE: I'm just staring at my plate.
BABETTE: He's shy. My bathrobe slipped earlier, and hispoor little heart couldn't take it.
MISS PATTY: He's been staring at his salad ever since.
LUKE: I like salad. [Lorelai and Luke share a glance anda smile.]
BABETTE: Patty, you wanna try my fish?
MISS PATTY: Fish has too much mercury
BABETTE: For this fish, you'll eat the mercury
MISS PATTY: Oh yeah?
LORELAI: [ Chuckles ] Okay, well, you two go easy onhim, now.
BABETTE: We'll try.
[Lorelai continues to watch Luke, walking away as shecrashes into a waiter.]
LORELAI: Oh! I'm sorry, Derek.
DEREK: You okay?
LORELAI: Well, there's a debate going on about that.
[Derek leads Kirk and Lulu toward their table. Kirkleans down to Luke]
KIRK: We're all set up.
LUKE: Stop whispering in my ear, Kirk.
KIRK: I'm just saying
LUKE: You're still doing it, Kirk. [Derek seats Kirk andLulu at Taylor's table]
DEREK: Can I get you anything, Mr. Doose?
TAYLOR: Another pen would be nice.
DEREK: Do you have enough paper?
TAYLOR: Just the pen will be fine.
DEREK: Coming right up. [leaves]
[Sookie approaches]
SOOKIE: Hey, Taylor, how is he?
TAYLOR: Who?
SOOKIE: The kid, Derek. Is he rude, slow, stupid?
TAYLOR: No, actually, he's been an excellent waiter allevening.
SOOKIE: Crap. [Taylor looks puzzled]
CUT TO INN KITCHEN
LORELAI: Hey, I have no need of salad in my life ever,but this is amazing.
SOOKIE: He's great. [dejected tone] They're all great.What happened to the disenfranchised youth of America? Where did all theseworker bees come from?
LORELAI: Cheer up, Sookie, the food's going over likegangbusters.
SOOKIE: Yeah.
[Michel enters]
MICHEL: I went to check on the backup generators.Everything is fine.
LORELAI: And the dinner's going great.
MICHEL: Everyone's settled, the doors are up.
SOOKIE: Everyone seems happy.
LORELAI: They do, don't they? This is gonna work.[They all grin]
[Lorelai exits kitchen toward the front lobby - seesJason standing there]
LORELAI: [dumbfounded] Uh, w-what are you doing here?
JASON: The place looks great.
LORELAI: Thank you. What are you doing here?
JASON: We need to talk.
LORELAI: Not now we don't.
JASON: I stayed away, I gave you space.
LORELAI: You gave me space? We broke up.
JASON: I didn't look at it that way. I looked at it as acooling-off period.
LORELAI: How very revisionist of you. Jason, I'mworking.
JASON: Ten minutes.
LORELAI: No!
JASON: Lorelai, we were doing great.
LORELAI: Until you decided to sue my father, yeah, werocked. Thank you. Goodbye.
JASON: I am not leaving.
LORELAI: Jason, please, I have an inn full of peoplehere.
JASON: Okay, um, one room, please.
LORELAI: What?
JASON: I would like a room. How much is a room?
LORELAI: No, no. Jason, you can't stay here. Every roomis taken. Please go. I will call you on Monday.
JASON: I can't wait until Monday. It gives you too muchtime to talk yourself out of trying again.
LORELAI: First I would have to talk myself into tryingagain, so let's make it Tuesday.
JASON: I'll wait till you're done.
LORELAI: I'm not going to be done for two days.
JASON: I'll wait till you take a break.
LORELAI: I will not have a break for two days.
JASON: This is a terrible job. I would like a word withyour boss. Who is above you?
LOREALI: Jason, I can't do this.
JASON: Lorelai, I've been sitting in my apartment fortwo weeks staring at a dead plant that you gave me. Now I know we can work thisout. I am not leaving until we do.
LORELAI: Oh, boy.
JASON: Just go about your business, and when you'reready to talk, I will be here. [sits down in lobby chair - picks up book ontable] Oh, look, "Above Connecticut." I've been looking for that.
LORELAI: Well... [moves off through dining room, wheredesert and coffee is being served. ]
CUT TO DINING ROOM -- NIGHT
[Dining tables now hold board games and various guests are grouped together toplay.]
LULU: Hey, Kirk, I'm getting tired.
KIRK: You are?
LULU: Would you mind if we went to bed?
KIRK: Uh, no, that's fine. You're tired. So,then...[Shouting] Let's go upstairs and go to bed!
LULU: Okay. Good night, everyone.
KIRK: I'm right behind you. [lingers by Luke's table andjerks head, motioning to Luke]
BABETTE: I think Kirk wants you to go upstairs and makelove to him.
LUKE: Will you just roll? [Babette shakes dice forYahtzee]
CUT TO RORY AND TOM'S TABLE
[Lorelai approaches)
LORELAI: [ Sighs ] Hey, how's it going here?
TOM: She's letting me win. It's very annoying.
RORY: How's it going with you?
LORELAI: Well, we locked the kitchen crew in with Michelfor twenty minutes, and it backfired a little. Six of them quit, and we have tostart hiring again tomorrow. When you're done, would you run home and grab someCDs? I totally forgot to have them in case one of the guests wants to playsomething in their room.
RORY: Sure, no problem. Hey, you do notice that Jason'ssitting in the other room, right?
LORELAI: Yeah, I'm handling it
RORY: Okay. [Lorelai exits the dining area while Lukelooks on with some concern.]
CUT TO LOBBY
LORELAI: Here. [hands Jason plate of hot food]
JASON: What's this?
LORELAI: You've been sitting there all night. You mustbe hungry. Eat something.
JASON: Thanks. Here, sit and have dinner with me.
LORELAI: Oh, Jason.
JASON: I'll feed you. It'll be adorable.
LORELAI: How much longer are you going to stay?
JASON: Just long enough to fix everything that wentwrong between us. Luckily, I'm currently unemployed. I have plenty of time.[Luke watches from a distance in dining room]
LORELAI: You're very stubborn.
JASON: I just refuse to lose the things that areimportant to me. [Lorelai sighs.]
CUT TO DINING AREA
[Babette rolls dice. Luke watches the activity in the lobby, oblivious to thegame action]
BABETTE: Full house! Oh, my God, I'm kicking your ass!
LUKE: Hey, Babette, who's that?
BABETTE: Who's what? Oh, that's Jason Stiles. He wasLorelai's boyfriend for the last six months.
LUKE: Oh, yeah?
BABETTE: Yeah. Not exactly who I pictured her with, buthe does have a very nice car. Anyhow, they were hiding their relationship fromher parents, 'cause Jason was her father's business partner. Well, of course,the parents found out about it, and all hell broke loose. Jason wound up suingLorelai's father.
LUKE: They still together?
BABETTE: I don't know. I thought they broke up, but he'shere, so maybe. I could ask Patty for you if you want. Sometimes she gets thenews first, 'cause her phone line picks up other people's conversations --something about proximity to the power lines. I'll tell ya, location, location,location. [Luke continues to watch Lorelai and Jason]
CUT TO LOBBY
LORELAI: I have to get back to work.
JASON: Go, work. I'm fine. I'm comfortable. I have food,Sookie brought me wine, and I've moved on to "Gnomes of the West."
LORELAI: I'll have someone bring you out some dessert.[Lorelai walks toward front desk]
[Emily barges into lobby]
EMILY: Lorelai Gilmore, why would you do that?!
LORELAI: Do what?
EMILY: You stuck your father and me out in thatGodforsaken cabin!
LORELAI: It's the honeymoon suite.
EMILY: One room, no access to the main building,pitch-black at night.
LORELAI: It's romantic.
EMILY: No television, no radio.
LORELAI: Actually there is a television. It's in thecabinet behind--
EMILY: And then the room service.
LORELAI: Roast beef and champagne.
EMILY: The one chance to get out of there, away fromeach other, and you yank it away!
LORELAI: Why would you want to get away from each other,Mom? Are you and Dad fighting?
EMILY: Stop it! You know! You know your father and I areseparated, and you brought us out here and stuck us in the woods to stare ateach other for 48 hours!
LORELAI: What was I supposed to do? You weren't sayinganything, Dad wasn't saying anything.
EMILY: Of all the cruel, insensitive -
LORELAI: How was I supposed to know I was supposed toknow?
EMILY: You did know!
LORELAI: But you didn't want me to know.
EMILY: Of course I didn't want you to know.
LORELAI: Exactly.
EMILY: Exactly what?
LORELAI: You didn't want me to know, so I didn't know,and now you're mad I didn't know?
EMILY: Because you did know!
LORELAI: But I wasn't supposed to know, so I acted likeI didn't know!
EMILY: And then you forced your father and me to comehere tonight under pretense of family obligation.
LORELAI: Well, hello, that's the Gilmore way.
EMILY: I won't stay out in that cabin one more second. Idemand a room in here.
LORELAI: We don't have any rooms in here, Mom. They'reall taken.
EMILY: Then bump someone.
LORELAI: Can't you and Dad just talk about it?
EMILY: No, you stop it right now! This is none of yourbusiness.
LORELAI: What happened? Was it Floyd's lawsuit?
EMILY: Lorelai, just give me a room.
LORELAI: I don't have a room, Mom.
EMILY: You don't have a room for your mother?
LORELAI: I have a room for my mother. It's the room mymother's in.
EMILY: That's not a room. That's a practical joke.
LORELAI: No, it was a chance for you and Dad to dosomething special.
EMILY: Fine. If you won't find me another room, thenI'll just sit in there until tomorrow. [She walks into seating area of thelobby.] Jason.
JASON: Emily.
EMILY: Do you have a room?
LORELAI: No, Mom, he doesn't. He just showed up here,because, apparently, it's Blake Edwards night at the dragonfly.
[Richard enters.]
RICHARD: Emily. [sees Jason] Jason?
JASON: Richard.
EMILY: He has a room.
RICHARD: Are you trying to kill us?
LORELAI: [exasperated] Oh, my god.
RICHARD: I packed our things. I think it's time to go.[Emily leaves.] I hope you've had your fun.
LOREALI: Oh, yeah, it's been a blast.
JASON: Can I get their room? [Lorelai narrows her eyesand leaves.]
CUT TO LORELAI AND RORY'S HOUSE - BACK KITCHEN DOOR
[Rory opens back door]
DEAN: Hey.
RORY: How'd you know I was here?
DEAN: Your mom said she sent you on an errand.
RORY: Ah, you went right to the source.
DEAN: [ Chuckles ] Can I -
RORY: Sure.
DEAN: Thanks.
RORY: I'm just trying to find some CDs for theDragonfly.
DEAN: I hear Taylor's a big hip-hop fan.
RORY: Oh, he hops with the hippest of them.
CUT TO RORY'S ROOM
DEAN: Your room looks the same.
RORY: Yeah, I tried that whole French revival thing, butit didn't really work for me.
DEAN: So, um, is it weird being back at home after beingaway for a while?
RORY: No, it feels completely normal.
DEAN: So, um [Chuckles] Today...
RORY: Yes, today.
DEAN: An interesting day.
RORY: I'd authorize a case study if I could.
DEAN: You know, I could be wrong, but somehow I had afeeling that maybe if Tom hadn't have come in when he did -
RORY: Dean?
DEAN: Yeah?
RORY: Lindsay.
DEAN: It's not working with Lindsay. I can't make itwork. I've tried.
RORY: Are you sure? Because I've heard that the firsttwo years of marriage are the hardest.
DEAN: We're not happy. She's not happy, and I can't makeher happy.
RORY: I can't imagine that.
DEAN: It was a mistake, and I know that now. From thevery beginning, it wasn't -
RORY: Wasn't what?
DEAN: It wasn't...
RORY: Maybe you could, um, go see a counselor or go awaytogether.
DEAN: No, it's just -- it's over. We both feel it. Iknow we both feel it.
RORY: You and Lindsay?
DEAN: Yeah, me and Lindsay.
RORY: You both feel it's over?
DEAN: I tried. We tried.
RORY: Well, if it's over, I'm sorry.
DEAN: You are?
RORY: I'm sorry you're not happy.
DEAN: I'll be happy again. Things happen for a reason,right? [moves closer]
RORY: Right. I can't believe this is -- that we're...[moving closer]
DEAN: I can [They kiss. Dean slowly lowers Rory toher bed.]
CUT TO INN LOBBY
[Luke enters from dining area - all is deserted except for Luke and Jason.]
LUKE: Hey. How you doing? [approaches]
JASON: Good.
LUKE: Good. Luke Danes. [offers hand shake]
JASON: Jason Stiles. [takes Luke's hand]
LUKE: So, I see you had the pot roast. [sits down inchair next to Jason]
JASON: Yeah.
LUKE: Good, huh?
JASON: Yeah, very good.
LUKE: All the food was great tonight. So, Jason Stiles,Jason Stiles. I'll tell ya, that name is familiar.
JASON: I'm a friend of Lorelai's.
LUKE: Yeah, me too. I own the diner in town.
JASON: Yeah, she's mentioned you.
LUKE: Has she? Well, it's nice to be mentioned.[chuckles ] So, uh, [clears throat] you know Lorelai from where?
JASON: Actually, we're dating.
LUKE: You're dating?
JASON: Going on six months.
LUKE: You're dating now?
JASON: Yeah.
LUKE: Oh sorry, my mistake. I thought you two had, uh -
JASON: well, we hit a rough patch, but we're workingthrough it.
LUKE: Well, good for you.
JASON: when it's right, it's right, and Lorelai and Iare right.
LUKE: That's great. I'm very happy for you.
JASON: Thanks. Hey, you have any idea where the men'sroom is?
LUKE: It's back through the dining room.
JASON: Thanks, it was nice meeting you.
LUKE: Sure, you too.
[Luke sits and stews on their conversation. He finallyshakes head and rises. Lorelai enters.]
LORELAI: Hey. The last one up?
LUKE: No, not the last one.
LORELAI: [ Chuckles ] You okay? I heard Babette waskicking your butt at Yahtzee.
LUKE: Actually, I'm feeling pretty stupid right now.
LORELAI: Why?
LUKE: I'm not a mysterious man, am I?
LORELAI: Well, the wardrobe's a bit of a head scratcher.
LUKE: I think I've been very, very clear with myintentions -
LORELAI: Your
LUKE: You know, the wedding, the movie invite, theflowers.
LORELAI: [ Chuckles ] Luke -
LUKE: You knew what I was doing!
LORELAI: Well, no, not officially.
LUKE: Not officially? Oh, come on. I mean, I didn't havea ref present, but other than that.
LORELAI: Well, you didn't say anything official.
LUKE: What was I supposed to say? I did things. I let myactions speak. That's what you're supposed to do. Your supposed to let youractions speak. That's the romantic way to do this, damn it.
LORELAI: Okay, you're right. I'm sorry.
LUKE: And you went along with all of it. So naturally, Iassumed we were on the same page, and then your boyfriend shows up here at theinn that I invested in.
[Lorelai reacts]
LORELAI: Whoa, what boyfriend? Are you talking aboutJason?
LUKE: No, Tom. Yes, Jason.
LORELAI: You guys were talking? What did he say?
LUKE: He said you were together. I mean, I was sittingthere listening to this guy spout on and on about how it's right, you're right,he's right. The whole time, I'm thinking, "What the hell have I been doingall this for? She's taken." [Storms out the front door - Lorelai follows]
LORELAI: I -- I'm not taken! We broke up!
LUKE: Well, he doesn't know that!
LORELAI: Well, just calm down!
LUKE: Aw, I don't want to calm down! I did everythingright! I did exactly what the book said!
LORELAI: The book?!
LUKE: I thought we were on track, and now you'restanding there looking at me like I'm crazy.
LORELAI: I'm not looking at you like you're crazy!
LUKE: You know the last time I bought flowers forsomeone? Never! That's when! Very easy stat to remember!
LORELAI: I loved the flowers!
LUKE: And then when I walked you home after the wedding,there was a moment. I thought there was a moment.
LORELAI: There was! There was a moment. [Luke gazes atLorelai, then moves closer.]
LORELAI: What are you doing?
LUKE: Will you just stand still?
[He gathers her in his arms and they kiss. Lorelai pullsaway then moves back closer to Luke.]
LUKE: What are you doing?
LORELAI: Will you just stand still?
[She holds his face as she kisses him. Luke's arms wraparound her as they kiss. She pulls away again. As they gaze at each other, Lukegrasps her waist and pulls her back.]
KIRK: Aaaaah! [running down stairs, buck naked with onlya pillow covering himself.] Aaah! Aaaah! [runs out the door in terror into thenight] Aaaaah! Aaaah!
LUKE: I'll be right back. [Lorelai looks puzzled] I'llexplain later. [runs after Kirk]
KIRK: Aaah! Aaah!
CUT TO LORELAI AND RORY'S HOUSE
[Lorelai enters front door running up the stairs]
LORELAI: Rory! Oh, my God. You're missing everything.[runs up the stairs] Grab those CDs and head back to the inn before you miss thecross-dressing midgets. That's where the night is headed. Oh! Things arehappening -- big things, wow things. I have so much to tell you. [descends thestairs with box of Band-aids] Let me just open with this little tidbit -- Kirkrunning naked through the square. Of course, with all my careful planning andpreparation, I forgot to bring Band-aids and a camera. I have got to learn that,always, without fail, Kirk equals camera. [sees Rory standing alone in kitchen]Hey, what's going on?
RORY: Dean came over to borrow something. [Dean exitsRory's bedroom to join her in kitchen]
DEAN: Yeah. [ Clears throat ] Thanks.
RORY: You're welcome.
DEAN: So, um, I should go. Um...bye, Lorelai.
RORY: Bye, Dean. [the door closes] So, I'm almost donegetting the CDs together. I picked a wide selection so we'd have choices, andthen I picked a bunch that probably only you will like, but it's good to haveoptions.
LORELAI: [sighs and looks at Rory's rumpled bed] So,what did he borrow?
RORY: I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first. Iknow I promised I would, but I swear, I didn't know that this was going tohappen. I mean, I didn't know he was going to show up tonight, and it justhappened. It's awful for you to find out like this, I know, but everything'sokay. I'm okay, and we were, you know, safe. So all those Trojan man jokes allthese years really apparently stuck. And I'm lucky, too, because Dean, he's --well, aren't you glad that it happened with someone who's good and really lovesme?
LORELAI: But he's married.
RORY: You don't understand the situation.
LORELAI: Is he still married?
RORY: Yes, but -
LORELAI: Then I understand the situation.
RORY: It's not working out between them. They're nothappy.
LORELAI: Oh, Rory.
RORY: He tried the best he could, but it didn't work.It's over.
LORELAI: [ Sighs ] He told you that?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: He told you he's leaving her?
RORY: Well -
LORELAI: He told you he's moving out, they're gettingdivorced, he's got a lawyer, they've divided up the monster-truck seasontickets?
RORY: We didn't get around to discussing everything.
LORELAI: You didn't get around to discussing everything?
RORY: It was a crazy night.
LORELAI: You, of all people -- the girl who thinkseverything through, the list maker -- you didn't bother to discuss those thingsbefore jumping into bed with a married guy?
RORY: He's not a married guy. He's Dean -- myDean.
LORELAI: He's not your Dean. He's Lindsay's Dean. You'rethe other woman.
RORY: I told you, it's over.
LORELAI: It's not over until he's out of the house withthe ring off.
RORY: He took the ring off.
LORELAI: Oh, my God, I don't believe this.
RORY: He's in love with me, not Lindsay.
LORELAI: Does Lindsay know that?
RORY: She's not good for him, okay? She lets him quitschool and work himself to death and -
LORELAI: No, Rory, uh-uh, you can't be one of thosegirls who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat.
RORY: He wasn't cheating.
LORELAI: He was cheating, Rory. He was cheating, and youwere cheating with him. There's no other way to spin that, kid.
RORY: I'm not spinning it, and I'm not a kid. I'm 19.
LORELAI: This is your first time. It's just not the wayyour first time was supposed to be.
RORY: Oh, and how was my first time supposed to be?
LORELAI: Well, first of all, it was supposed to be in aretirement home. And secondly, ideally, it was supposed to be with someonesingle.
RORY: My first time was with someone sweet and kind wholoves me.
LORELAI: I didn't raise you to be like this. I didn'traise you to be the kind of girl who sleeps with someone else's husband.
RORY: You slept with dad when he was with Sherry.
LORELAI: He wasn't married to Sherry.
RORY: He was engaged, and she was pregnant.
LORELAI: So, this is all my fault? I set one crappyexample for you, and you have no choice but to follow in my footsteps? [Roryturns and walks away.] Rory, what are you going to do now? Huh? Is there a plan?
RORY: I don't want to talk about it anymore.
LORELAI: I just want what's best for you, that's all!
RORY: I don't want to talk about it!
LOREALI: I just don't want you to get hurt, Rory. Whatif he doesn't leave her? Now you're all emotionally involved.
RORY: You're just mad because I didn't come running toyou to discuss whether or not I was ready for this step. I decided it on my own.
LOREALI: Well, obviously, you weren't ready for thisstep. The very fact that you chose another girl's guy to sleep with proves that!
RORY: He was my boyfriend first!
LOREALI: But you dumped him! You rejected him! Youpicked someone else!
RORY: Stop it! [walks away]
LORELAI: Rory!
RORY: I hate you for ruining this for me! [Walks outfront door and pulls on sweater. Dials a number on her cell phone]
LINDSAY: [answering phone] Hello? Hello? Hello?
[Rory hangs up and sinks to her knees. Lorelai exits thefront door and watches her daughter sobbing on the front lawn.]
THE END